Why I Started Hating Christianity

Before I started hating Christianity, I had went to church most of my life as a child and a teenager. I was very involved in the church: I participated in youth Sunday school every Sunday morning, I was an usher, I was a children' church Sunday school teacher, I was a member of the choir, I was in all the youths' plays and programs, and the list goes on. I was well known at church for being mature

 and well behave. I found myself taking the responsibility of being the role model for my younger sisters and the other youth at the church. I was usually given leadership positions.

This is why I started hating Christianity: 

I had been questioning the Bible since high school. However, when I went to college, I began to question more. I was meeting people from all backgrounds of life from different cultures, religions, and beliefs. Church was no longer a priority. No one was making me go church. And I was no longer being indoctrinated with Biblical scripture.

Here are some pages from my diary.

As time went on, I began to think why was God allowing people to be killed especially in natural disasters. I had watched a movie and documentary about the Earthquake that killed everyone in Pompeii. And there had been mention that God had destroyed Pompeii because they believed other gods, secular sexual practices, and other supposedly ungodly things. This upset me because I disagreed that they were so wicked. I didn't believe in the Christian God that claimed this anyway. I didn't see how the God from the Bible could be the true God when there were so many different religions.

Here is my diary entry in which I was upset.

Then I began to think what if there was no God at all. I decided I wouldn't like it, but I would accept it. I began to listen to Stephen Hawking's belief of how there was no God. 

In this diary entry, I have included the the entire section, however, only the first pages are needed to understand how I felt about there being no God. I have only included the whole diary entry because the last page conveys how I started believing "the Secret" which is a documentary about the Law of Attraction. I started to lean toward the Law of Attraction belief and pantheism (the universe, and nature are identical to divinity or a supreme entity.)

Here is my diary entry.

There was a time at my university that my interest was captured by an exhibit of posters. The posters included questions like:  Who is God?  The exhibit displayed the time for an event of a presentation at the university at a later time. Because I was curious and had been asking so many questions about God, I decided I wanted to go.

I attended the presentation event. A pastor presented a slide show about some of the wide spread religions including Buddhism, Muslism, Judaism, and Christianity. He explained each religion. At the end of presentation, I found myself admiring Jesus Christ and believing in Christianity.  I even spoke to the Pastor. However, after a couple days passed I thought about the presentation. And I was stuck on the fact that, the Pastor couldn't even pronounced the word Quran right which made me think that He didn't really know enough about the religion to judge it. At the time I had a best friend who was Muslim and  she had explained to me about Quran.  And again even if I did admire this Jesus Christ from the Bible who was to say Christianity was true. Where was the evidence?

What finally caused me to oppose Christianity and the Bible was when I started attending philosophy class.

Here is the diary entry of how began to claim God was dead. 

 

Here is the essay I wrote for my philosophy class about how God is dead.

Many times we had debates in class about religion and I was on fire as I protested against Christianity. And no one really countered me.

Below in my diary entry is when I affirm that the law of attraction was the belief that I would follow.

Here is a post I shared about being opened minded because I believe every belief could be at least partially true, but not just Christianity because it was a narrow minded and an arrogant belief.

Here is my diary entry of me wanting to stay open minded.

After I renounce Christianity, I started becoming infuriated and annoyed by the street preacher that preach at the university. Sometimes, I would even be frustrated with Christian friends.

I also found myself arguing with Christians on social media.

Here is one comment in which I argued with a Christian on YouTube.

Here is a link to the video: https://youtu.be/QdUGoFTfP7w?si=o_hzxNR_zeWv-lJC

Eventually I decided I want to make a vlog that debunked Christianity and the Bible. I never got the chance to upload the video to YouTube, but I kept the videos.

Here are some of those videos. 

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Even after I harden my heart unknowingly toward the Biblical God, I became a reborn Christian. Why? 

Because God answered me!

He answered me when I truly sought Him because I wanted the truth after my mind had been plague with delusion, hallucinations, and mania, because of my own belief that there was no absolute truth which I learned was bizarre chaos now that I have experienced it through delusions.

After God answered me, my hate for Christianity became fear and despair and I even suffered from scrupulosity (religious OCD). Out of all the religions, I definitely did not want one of the Abrahamic religions to to be true, but I accepted it because I now believed it to be true.

God started working on me in His patience, love, and mercy. He answered my prayers, He taught me, and He built my faith. At the same time the enemy was trying to destroy me with delusions. But when I anchored myself to God's word and Christ's love I did not fall into insanity and mania. When I strayed from the Bible's truth, I literally went crazy and found myself in the psych ward because I let the enemy's delusions deceive me.

Once Christ consoled my anxious and confused mind, God then started blessing me with abundance.

Today God restores and directs me in all ways.